The Other Kind of Teenager: Thoughts on Raising Great Kids

This evening on the way home from my daughter Hannah's ballet class, we stopped for a few groceries. The couple behind us in line were discussing a teenage girl. "If she was mine, I'd take her phone away and make sure she was so busy she had no time for boys."

Their tone implied they had little respect for teenagers.

We put our groceries on the conveyor belt, and Hannah moved our things forward and put a divider up so the people behind us could add their groceries. The expressions on their faces was priceless. "Wow!" They exclaimed. "That was nice!"

The lady asked me how old Hannah is.

"She's eight."

The lady's reply was predictable and disappointing. "Enjoy her now while she's still sweet."

There was a beat and then Hannah politely stated, "Actually, we think I'm going to be nice all along. I'm going to be the other kind of teenager."

Their faces again looked stunned. They then told her they thought that was wonderful.

Please don't underestimate the power you have, whether you're a parent or not, of setting kids up to be great teenagers and adults, or setting them up to believe their roles as teens is to be impossible, rude, and irresponsible.

As a society, it's time to change the message we're sending to our youth. Today's kids are tomorrow's law-makers, teachers, physicians, social workers, scientists, nurses, parents, and much much more.

Let's start with the kids in our own homes and communities. Let's begin instilling this message: "I see so much potential in you. I know you are going to go far and do great things. I'm excited to see all of the compassion and kindness you will give the world. You have purpose."

True North

Ribbons of the new and unexpected wind in and around normal rhythms. Life isn't static, and as such, you would think I would learn to expect the unexpected. Somehow change still catches me off guard.

I find myself without a map right now. In a place I haven't been before. Perhaps you find yourself in a similar place.

Disoriented, I sit on the edge of my bed at night and journal, determined to use my compass to find true north. My husband walks in and snaps a picture as he says, "Look at you live artfully." {It's a bit of a joke around here.}

I'm a chatterbox, but very much an introvert. A few years ago I dubbed myself an "Expressive Introvert." I have a deep inner thought life. I process everything. Then I have to express it, somehow, in order to fully process my experience.

Change is hard for introverts. I am a creature who cherishes and tries to protect stability. Even when my life looks the same from the outside, if there are elements of change within, I feel it like waves rippling beneath a sailboat.

So it's vital for me to have a true north I can find when I feel blown about on rippling tides or rough seas.

I'm thinking a lot these days about my true north. What that is. What points me right-side-up, feeds me, returns me to what I know to be true about myself and life. Maybe this resonates with you. Maybe, like me, you just needed the words for this feeling so that you could begin identifying all of the things, people, places, beliefs that make up your compass.

Find your true north.

DaySpring Oilcloth Tote: Product Review

The bag rode in the back seat to Grammy's house, toting Veggie Tales DVDs, changes of clothes for the girls, water color paints and sketch books, a storybook, and things I needed for a day away from home. It held an armload -- the perfect amount of comfort and activities for several hours at my parents' house.

The bag rode at my feet as I sat in the passenger seat, the "Flight Attendant." It held my wallet, phone, lipstick, eyeglasses, contact case & solution, books for my girls in the backseat. It held an extra pair of shoes in case my feet flared, PJs for the girls in case it was close to bedtime when we were done shopping in the city.

The bag came on our bookstore/coffee shop date, packed with two journals, a book, art supplies, my phone, my wallet, and a comfortable outfit and other things in case I got cold or super uncomfortable.

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The Hope for the Best oilcloth tote by DaySpring is beautiful. The message applies to my life in more than one way right now, and I find it encouraging. Hope has been my theme throughout difficult times in my life, and is even a nickname given to me by one of my friends. I couldn't wait to receive the Hope bag in the mail to review, and was more than pleased when I took it out of the box.

It's soft, yet sturdy, roomy with a strong magnet closure, the straps are long enough to carry comfortably on my shoulder and feel like soft leather. The colors are beautiful and the lining is pink and fun. There are several pockets inside, including cell phone pockets and a zipper pocket big enough for lipstick, change, medications, or whatever you might need to carry with you. 

I received an additional bag to give to a friend. I gifted it to a friend who recently had a birthday. She uses totes all the time for grocery shopping and toting books from place to place, so I was sure she would put it to good use.

The bag would be perfect for a trip to the beach -- throw in towels, sunscreen, snacks & drinks, a good book, and sunglasses. When you get home, it will be easy to wipe clean.

Our family is going on vacation in September and this bag will definitely be coming along! As a mom, I find it the perfect size.

I can think of a dozen uses for this bag, and have carried nothing else since receiving it. I am truly delighted with it and would order more as gifts or for myself. 

Check out the other oilcloth and jute totes by DaySpring here: http://www.dayspring.com/search/?keywords=oil%20cloth

DaySpring is offering a Buy 2, get the 3rd free deal on their beautiful bags through the month of June. Pick up one for you and gifts for friends!

*I received this complimentary bag from DaySpring in exchange for my honest review. 

Journey to Brave: The Realities of Daily Pain

{Art journaling by Jennifer LeBlanc 2012. All Rights Reserved.}

Pain is an opportunity to practice courage.

People have told me how amazed they are that I continue smiling through the pain. That's not always the case, and this picture was taken to prove that. I post it with trepidation. It's not pretty. Neither is severe pain or living with it.

The picture on the left was taken on my way to church with my family. This is what people often see. I'm done up and out. I look 'normal.' I am likely in significant pain even when I look like the left picture. What people don't see is the effort it takes to get the pain under control and get myself looking like this and get out the door. The picture on the right is what people rarely see. This was taken the other night while I was in a severe episode of Costochondritis, a frequent symptom I have, when the inflammation flares in my sternum, rib cage and chest. This particular attack was my spine, ribs, chest, sternum, all the way around, front, back and sides. I literally felt "IN pain." I was inside of it and it held me in its clutches as if I were a bird in a cage. Costochondritis is commonly described as feeling like you are having a heart attack or an elephant is sitting on your chest. It's incredibly painful and makes every breath painful as well.

If it helps you to understand better, check out this image.

The chest is made up of many, many bones and joints. I could feel every single one.

I do not write this for your sympathy or pity. I do not write this to complain. My reason for posting this is to help raise awareness. Because I am just one of the mass of people out there living with daily pain. 

If you are one of those with chronic pain, I write this for you. I write this to say, "You are not alone!" 

{My daughter drew this picture to illustrate an elephant on Mommy's chest}

Pain takes its toll, especially severe pain. It is difficult, and sometimes not possible, to live a normal life of responsibilities and activities when pain is part of your daily reality. 

Please understand that we are not lazy if we sleep more than you do. We are not "lucky" to have frequent rest times. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is for me, as a person who thrives on being productive, to have to rest while life all around me doesn't stop.

And because life doesn't stop for chronic pain and illness, as it might temporarily pause for those who take a sick day from work, I have to learn what I can and cannot manage. I have pain every day, 24/7. I honestly can no longer remember what pain-free feels like. So please understand if I cannot watch your kids, lead out in activities or events, or if I have to cancel our afternoon get-together or play date.

I cannot express what a gift it is when people don't judge. When you say, "I'd love to get together but please feel free to cancel if you're having a bad day." When you're at the store and you text me to see if I need something picked up. These are real life examples of things my friends have done for me in the last week. You are a gift to me. Your understanding, or willingness to try to understand, is not something I take for granted. Thank you!

I firmly believe that if you just look for them, there will always be more blessings than struggles.

Did You Miss It?: (in)RL Conference Materials

If you missed the inRL virtual conference, I have great news! Dayspring and (in)courage have teamed up to make the event's videos and workbook available for sale. Through the end of this month, you can save 50%. 

The videos alone are worth every penny, not to mention the study booklet. I know I will watch the videos again and again, even though I attended the event.

These videos include authors and bloggers including Ann Voskamp, Holley Gerth, Lisa-Jo, and many, many more. Also, the very touching 30 minute video tribute to Sara Frankl, our friend who lived bravely despite severe pain and limitations and left a legacy of Choosing Joy, is included.

Now through the end of the month, save 50% using code INRL50.

I highly recommend you purchase these materials, enjoy them, and share them with your Bible Study girls, church library, mother, aunt, sister, and all of your friends.

Many Blessings: Looking Back and Looking Forward

I remember shopping for rubber stamps in the months before my diagnosis with Ankylosing Spondylitis in 2010. I wandered the aisles of Craft Warehouse and selected a package that inspired me. The stamps were of cherry blossoms and soaring birds, with words like {Many Blessings} and Bloom and I decided right then and there in that aisle that I would do just that.

I decided that no matter what came with my health and my joints and ability to walk, I would keep growing and live joyfully and I would try to live my life in such a way that people watching could be inspired.

Because we all have battles, don't we?

Today I was doing some journaling. I got out some stamps and ink pads, and stamped the words from that package of stamps on heavy ivory pages and I remembered that time so clearly. I remembered the fear and the worry, the new symptoms that popped up frequently (autoimmunity is like a circus, you just never know what new and colorful thing will surprise you next), the months between when my primary care doctor said she was certain I had AS and 3-4 months later when my rheumatologist confirmed the diagnosis.

I remembered reading posts by Sara Frankl, and being strengthened by her attitude of daily joy regardless of the circumstances. I filled myself that summer, reading inspiring things, feasting on outdoor beauty, and journaling my own feelings and declarations that no matter what came, I would grow and I would fight and I would live my best life.

For me, it's important to look back and remember the milestones. It's important to regularly think about the choice and commitment I've made to find a way to weave beauty, inspiration, courage and my dreams into my reality.

I'm thankful for books and blog posts that have kept me inspired. I'm thankful for the example of how others fight their battles.

I feel buoyed by the realization that I have done the best I could so far, and that I have kept a joyful, thankful outlook. I'm thankful for everything and everyone and the One who have helped me do that. I'm also thankful for grace when I can't fight for a day or two and need some time to just grieve what the reality is.

I choose again today to continue to live with as much courage and strength as I can muster, to offer grace to those around me and to myself when needed, to use my words to heal and uplift, not to harm.

I choose again to keep fighting to make my dreams reality, even when my reality is heavy and hard.

The Friend in My Pocket

"Make new friends and keep the old,

One is silver and the other gold."

She is a new friend that feels "old" in the best possible way. A treasure, precious; gold.

I tuck her in my pocket and carry her around with me throughout the day -- sometimes almost literally -- our words connecting our hearts via texts from iPhone to iPhone carried in pocket and purse.

I text to report on what my body is doing today -- maybe hips are limping, maybe a spine is stiffened, maybe hands are swollen. I tell her what my heart is feeling -- maybe stressed and maybe blessed. Often, as authentic life goes, a measure of each. I tell her what my girls are doing, what our day is holding.

She tells me things back.

One of my kids acts out in public and I go home, deflated. It never ceases to amaze me how my girls' behavior can thrill me or undo me.

I text her, my phone making a little whoosh as the message of "My day just went south" zips its way through mysterious channels of technology to ding into her phone.

I am returning Redbox DVDs, comfy in velour pants and ballet flats, comforted by the silence of no children on this errand; inspired by the fresh air and lighting of dusk when my phone alerts me of her reply.

I hold my breath as I read in my parked car. She is new after all. Will she judge my motherhood; my babes (grown in the protection of my body, in the space beneath my heart)? My babes I've spent nearly 24/7 with since their birth? Motherhood is of utmost importance to me -- the desire to put in the time, do the work, give it my best (which so often feels like not good enough).

She says the perfect things, her words a balm to a bruised Mama-soul.

Her message lightens my load as she volunteers to help carry it. I find comfort in her understanding and non-judgment.

She is new, but she is gold.

Thankful for a pocket friend tonight.