A Summer of Overcoming

I winged my way through an astonishing summer. Partly due to an effective treatment plan, partly due to my proverbial wings {essentially: pure courage}, and partly due to necessity. I was as close to thriving as I've been in years, but still, summer was a blur of activity and "too much" for this reflective, home-based creative with chronic pain.

It was a summer I'll cherish the memory of because it was packed and fast-paced, and I did it well. I'm still trying to process 1.) what all happened this summer, and 2.) how exactly I managed it.

I took my girls on day trips by myself -- days I drove and was away from home for many hours. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.

I hiked in the forest, and walked in my neighborhood, and experienced the zoo many times.

I did a road trip.

I navigated driving in places I haven't been before.

I took my kids to a lot of places and have the pictures to prove it.

I reclaimed, rose above, and overcame.

It was good. So good.

And I did hard things. Like saying goodbye to sweet auntie who died of terminal cancer in July. Like supporting a friend who said hello and goodbye to her baby girl in the space of an hour. Like things that were stressful and felt nearly impossible.

But it's mid-September now and I've gotta say:

I'm exhausted.

These exuberant "overcomer" wings are feeling ripped and rumpled. While I cherish the memories of reclaiming my independence this summer, hiking, trips, and an astounding amount of activity; while I look back on that with satisfaction, gratification, and astonishment, I'm desperately in need of rest now.

Whether it's due to seasonal changes (summer morphing into fall), or having overdone it on a pretty big scale, I am battling exhaustion, headaches, nausea, limping, morning stiffness, and the symptom that puts the fear in me faster than any other -- waking with a spine that feels shattered.

I desire nothing more right now than to hibernate for a couple months. To settle back into my cozy nest, snuggle my family, put my feet up, hang up my wings, and recover.

Back to our little cottage. Back to dance classes and learning at home. Back to {hopefully} writing and blogging more.

As it says in the Bible, there are seasons for things. Summer was an overcoming season. I'm hoping fall can be a recovering/rejuvenating season.

What kind of season are you in? How was your summer? Did you do brave things? Did you make great memories? I'd love to hear about it.

Celebrate the Moments, Release the Expectations

It's been about a month since I was here last, typing in this space, and I've missed it. The month of December is overwhelming in almost every way, and add in a chronic illness that flares and it becomes quite a challenge. Having said that, I find it the most magical time of the year and I had a great Christmas season. I will share some of our moments with you soon.

For now though, we are starting a new year and I am trying to choose my One Little Word for 2012. I started this tradition in 2010 with the word Nest. I chose that year to focus on our home and family. I wanted to create a cozy, warm, artful home and focus on nourishing my little chicks.

In 2011, I chose Still.  I was diagnosed in 2010 with a chronic autoimmune disease, and I wanted to remember in 2011 to slow down, to rest (both physically and mentally), and to remember that no matter what, God still has a plan and a purpose for me.

This year I want to continue to learn how to celebrate the moments while letting go of expectations. I don't want to live on auto-pilot. I don't want to do things because I should do them or because they are expected. I want to spend my days on things that my family has chosen and implemented because we feel they are worthwhile.

I want to slow down in the moments -- unlearn multitasking every moment and remember that sometimes multitasking doesn't lead to getting more done, it just leads to frenzy and not really being able to focus.

This year I want to practice the art of being present in each moment. I want to give the person or task in each moment the undivided attention it deserves. Life is a gift. Every moment of life is a gift and it won't be back. We spend it while we live it -- whether we are present and absorbing it, or wishing it away, or too busy to notice it slipping by. I am still trying to determine the best word to use for that. Any thoughts?

So are you choosing a word for the new year? I would love to hear about it in the comments. If you've written a blog post about it, feel free to link to your post in a comment. And if you haven't chosen a word, but have something you are resolving to do or improve at, tell us about it. I'd love to hear where your heart and head is as you are starting your new year.