9.18.2010

...a little rain must fall











Be still sad heart and cease repining;
Behind the clouds the sun is shining,
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life a little rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


It's raining outside my open window. My back rests against a heating pad and cool air drifts in. I am still sick. It has been over four months now. Soon I'll be going to the specialist, and all I want is answers. Some people think a diagnosis is just a label, but that's never how I've felt; I think a diagnosis is a tool to help you find options.

I am homeschooling my 6 year-old this year, and we are having a great time learning and bonding. Little sister (3) is keeping busy with preschool skills such as coloring, painting, cutting, learning to write her name, her ABCs and 123s. My heart is very content with this decision. 

My health is challenging right now and there's a lot of uncertainty there. What is wrong, what are my options for treatment, will I get better or will I get worse, what will my future look like? With all of that, it is so wonderful to have made a decision we feel at peace with regarding our daughters' education this year. We're having such a good time baking, making art, learning about the solar system, writing, and doing all sorts of math. 

I'm simplifying my life as much as I can, and trying to learn what I can do without overdoing, what will help, and what I will have to pay for tomorrow. Not only do I have to walk slower, I have to live slower.

Journaling is helping me process my questions and fears, as well as keep track of my symptoms. I am thankful to have friends on this journey, so thank you for being here.

5 comments:

  1. I was wondering how homeschooling is going for you. I think it's wonderful.
    I don't know what to say, except that I love you and think about you constantly. Praying for a quick diagnosis and easily figured out treatment. *hugs*

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  2. Bless you, bless you! I feel so deeply for you in your physical process. You know I know what it is to pay for things tomorrow (or later today) and to live life slowly. I'm so thankful homeschooling is going well. I keep praying about your appointment. I love you very much!

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  3. Homeschooling sounds such fun, watching your children develop day by day.

    I hope the appointment goes well this week, I feel that we are on a journey together, I will pray that you get some answers this week.

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  4. sending healing thoughts your way!

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  5. Bless your heart, I am so sorry for your current struggle. As a home schooling mom, I know that when you don't feel strong, it is hard to be motivated to get through lessons and life! I am praying for you right now, that you will know that you have a treasure - in your earthen vessel, that the surpassing greatness of power may be from God and not from yourself!

    Thanks for stopping by (in)courage today. I'm so glad you did!

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