The Friend in My Pocket

"Make new friends and keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold."

She is a new friend that feels "old" in the best possible way. A treasure, precious; gold.

I tuck her in my pocket and carry her around with me throughout the day -- sometimes almost literally -- our words connecting our hearts via texts from iPhone to iPhone carried in pocket and purse.

I text to report on what my body is doing today -- maybe hips are limping, maybe a spine is stiffened, maybe hands are swollen. I tell her what my heart is feeling -- maybe stressed and maybe blessed. Often, as authentic life goes, a measure of each. I tell her what my girls are doing, what our day is holding.

She tells me things back.

One of my kids acts out in public and I go home, deflated. It never ceases to amaze me how my girls' behavior can thrill me or undo me.

I text her, my phone making a little whoosh as the message of "My day just went south" zips its way through mysterious channels of technology to ding into her phone.

I am returning Redbox DVDs, comfy in velour pants and ballet flats, comforted by the silence of no children on this errand; inspired by the fresh air and lighting of dusk when my phone alerts me of her reply.

I hold my breath as I read in my parked car. She is new after all. Will she judge my motherhood; my babes (grown in the protection of my body, in the space beneath my heart)? My babes I've spent nearly 24/7 with since their birth? Motherhood is of utmost importance to me -- the desire to put in the time, do the work, give it my best (which so often feels like not good enough).

She says the perfect things, her words a balm to a bruised Mama-soul.

Her message lightens my load as she volunteers to help carry it. I find comfort in her understanding and non-judgment.

She is new, but she is gold.

Thankful for a pocket friend tonight.


  1. Friends are so essential! Many times the consolation of a friend via email is the balm that helps me keep moving forward. Especially that unconditional caring and support about the things that matter most. Thank you for being such a friend to me! May you be wrapped many times a day in the warm understanding of friends!!!

  2. Loving and being loved is vulnerable business, but always worth the risk.
    I remember my days prior to being sick. I had little time for social media and I probably was not the best "friend". My how things change...and I am so glad. I don't know what I would do without the support system I have found over the great www, and as far as my friends go...well, to say that I appreciate them would simply be an understatement.
    These are lessons my illness had gifted me with and I would not change that for anything.
    So glad you have found a new friend, especially the kind that "feels old". Such a good, comfortable feeling.


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