6.19.2012

The Other Kind of Teenager: Thoughts on Raising Great Kids


This evening on the way home from my daughter Hannah's ballet class, we stopped for a few groceries. The couple behind us in line were discussing a teenage girl. "If she was mine, I'd take her phone away and make sure she was so busy she had no time for boys."

Their tone implied they had little respect for teenagers.

We put our groceries on the conveyor belt, and Hannah moved our things forward and put a divider up so the people behind us could add their groceries. The expressions on their faces was priceless. "Wow!" They exclaimed. "That was nice!"

The lady asked me how old Hannah is.

"She's eight."

The lady's reply was predictable and disappointing. "Enjoy her now while she's still sweet."

There was a beat and then Hannah politely stated, "Actually, we think I'm going to be nice all along. I'm going to be the other kind of teenager."

Their faces again looked stunned. They then told her they thought that was wonderful.

Please don't underestimate the power you have, whether you're a parent or not, of setting kids up to be great teenagers and adults, or setting them up to believe their roles as teens is to be impossible, rude, and irresponsible.

As a society, it's time to change the message we're sending to our youth. Today's kids are tomorrow's law-makers, teachers, physicians, social workers, scientists, nurses, parents, and much much more.

Let's start with the kids in our own homes and communities. Let's begin instilling this message: "I see so much potential in you. I know you are going to go far and do great things. I'm excited to see all of the compassion and kindness you will give the world. You have purpose."

14 comments:

  1. Good on Hannah!! With that attitude, she will be an awesome teen.
    Many of us raise "the other kind of teenager" but sadly so many don't.

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  2. Intentional parenting- love seeing how you put this into practice and how well Hannah can articulate what your hopes and dreams are for her! This is both encouraging and gentle reminder to give our littles the tools they need for a lifetime. Beautifully said Jennifer!

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  3. Love this post. I think most people (no matter their ages) need someone to believe in them and encourage them. I know my boys are not perfect, but I am so darn proud of them and yeah--they are the 'other kind' of teenager. Good for Hannah for saying that. Please tell her, I am proud of her and glad she, too, will be the 'other kind' of teenager. hugs to you, my friend.

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  4. Love this post. I think all of us, no matter our age, need someone to believe in us and encourage us. I know my guys are not perfect but they are definitely the other kind of teenager and I am really poud of them. Tell Hannah, I'm proud of her and glad that she, too, will be the other kind of teenager. Hugs to you, my friend..

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  5. Love this post. I think all of us, no matter our age, need someone to believe in us and encourage us. I know my guys are not perfect but they are definitely the other kind of teenager and I am really poud of them. Tell Hannah, I'm proud of her and glad that she, too, will be the other kind of teenager. Hugs to you, my friend..

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  6. I really enjoyed this post. My children are 13 and 16 and I just did a post on raising teenagers.

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  7. I just realized you can't click on my name to see my post.

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  8. Love this post. I have two teenagers and I just posted on this.

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  9. I'm not sure why my comment keeps disappearing.

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  10. Tanya, I can see all of your comments. Thank you so much! I will check out your post.

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  11. Thanks Tanya, I will check it out! Hannah is our oldest so I don't have any teenagers yet, and am happy to hear from those who do. :-)

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  12. I love this. With a 14 and 16 year old, I feel so lucky. They are great. Sure, they have mood swings, but you know what? So do I. :) Let's respect that they are people too.

    My teens often feel frustrated. They get evil looks from moms with small kids if they play at the park, which they still like to do sometimes and then have been told by numerous stores that teens aren't allowed. My kids are always respectful and leave when they feel they aren't wanted, but what are teens to do? They have energy and interests, yet there is very little for them to do.

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  13. My boys are 17 & 19 and definitely are "the other kind of teenagers." Their teen years have been every bit as enjoyable as the earlier years :) I am so proud of your daughter for what she said. It made me laugh too :)

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  14. I love your daughter's response. Priceless! And I love that you are instilling that kind of confidence and trust in her as she grows into "the other kind of teenager." We do not have to give in to what the world expects our children to be.

    Keep up the good work, mom!

    http://peggywright.wordpress.com/2011/05/24/grand-motherhood/

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