Elephant Pajamas and Doctor Appointments

I love elephants. I have since I was a little girl. They have been my favorite animal all my life. When I was seven I broke my arm and had to have an operation to repair it. My Grama bought me a big floppy grey stuffed elephant, and I named her Ellie. Ellie was my favorite stuffed pal and I took her as many places as I could (she was the size of a suitcase so she couldn't always accompany me) for a long time. Throughout the years she got very dirty and beat up. One summer when I was verging on Grown Up, I decided the right thing to do would be to throw Ellie out. May I just say that I wish I had kept her? Had her dry cleaned? Put her in an extra large pillow case and washed her? Invested in a shadow box the size of a car trunk and hung her on my wall? (Okay, maybe not that last one...)

In my last post, I mentioned that I haven't been feeling well and that I had finally scheduled an appointment to see a doctor.

Yesterday was my appointment. I have to admit I was anxious. Even though I haven't been feeling well for several weeks, at this point I only have symptoms and suspicions, no diagnosis. With a diagnosis comes something altogether different: an effect on how I identify myself and sorting through treatment options is just the beginning.

But I'm not functioning well. Every single day I feel ill. Weak. So tired. Hurting. And I have a life to live. I have a part-time job and a household to run and writing & projects I want to do, and a husband and two little girls who deserve the best their wife and mama has to offer.

So I went.

Long story short, the doctor took me seriously and has the same suspicions I had. I had blood drawn for lab work, and walked out of the office feeling a bit lighter because now someone else is joining me to try and figure out what's going on. It's nice to have help.

Life has been busy lately. Dinners. Parties. Projects. Deadlines. Work. Responsibilities.

My mom took care of my girls during my appointment and offered to keep them all night so I could rest. It's nice to have help.

My husband took me to a second appointment as the pain I already deal with had cropped up again. So I had a pain treatment. We had dinner out and got to peruse Target, despite my low-grade fever causing me to feel flushed and my legs trying to collapse beneath me. Jonathan & I walked arm-in-arm. It's nice to have help.

I found one thing that made me feel more cheery: blue capri PJ pants with big pink elephants and flowers on them. There's just something about feeling sick that makes new jammies so appealing. We headed over to the girls' clothing section to find new PJs for my 6 year-old and what do you think they had? Blue capri PJ pants with big pink elephants and flowers on them! So Hannah & I are going to have matching jammies for the first time. I don't know who will be more excited.

Forgive me if this is disjointed. Hopefully I will hear soon on the lab results and I will know what to do next. Until then, I will have cute PJs to wear.

I really appreciate every single comment that is left. Thank you, friends, for your sweet notes & well-wishes.

Until next time...