4.03.2010

The Promise of Easter

We lost a baby at 10 weeks. Every Easter since our loss, over 4 years ago, I have found new meaning in the crucifixion, resurrection, and what it all means:
  • Mary's anguish as she saw her son die. Her desperate longing for it not to have to be this way. Not my son! Please, please, not MY son!
  • The disciples' grief as they begin to feel the void He left; their shock. He's really gone? But we loved him! He mattered to us!
  • What a desolate Saturday that must've been, with Jesus dead and buried in the tomb. How can this be? Can it be real? Everything is different now.
  • The women's panic as they found the tomb empty. He has been moved! Where is He now? Can He not even rest in peace? Where do we find Him? Where do we go to remember Him?
  • Their tentative hope, as they begin to realize that maybe what the angel says is true. He's alive? He is risen? All is not lost?
This weekend, I am lost in contemplation, feeling those same emotions felt on Crucifixion Friday, Desolate Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday. I sit changed by significant loss.

Not my child! Please, please, not MY child! He's really gone? But we loved him! He mattered to us! How can it be? Can it be real? Everything is different now. Where is he now? Where do we go to remember him?

I look forward, with great hope, to the next resurrection, when I can say, "He's alive? He is risen? All is not lost?" because THEY said, "He's alive! He is Risen! All is not lost!"

It's not over yet...

6 comments:

  1. Jenn, aren`t we lucky to believe in something more. My thoughts are with you too.

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  2. My daughters are 4 years apart in age because I lost two babies in between. I do understand your grief. I still remember those babies--and my youngest daughter turns 13 this year. But I am SO blessed--both of my daughters have professed Christ as their Lord and Savior, and I rejoice because...He IS risen!
    Blessings, my sister. Thank you for sharing so honestly.

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  3. I wish for more time for contemplation of all this. Maybe I can find some tomorrow with my journal. Thank you for this post, and the always-needed reminder that IT'S NOT OVER YET.

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  4. What encouraging and hopeful words to read. I'm so glad you're willing to share that pain and the hope you feel through it. It will be an awesome day when we not only get to reunite with those we've lost, but to finally get to rest in the arms of our Savior! I'll look forward to meeting your sweet little one.

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  5. beautiful post. thank you for sharing.
    i lost a child at 14 weeks (almost 10 yrs ago).
    i am grateful that Death does not have the final say, IN JESUS WE WIN! LIFE WINS!

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  6. Thank you all, so very much, for your comments.

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