Throughout the years I have had opportunity to learn how to let go. Of dreams, of capabilities, of loved ones, and even a child.
Now I am learning, again, how to let go. Throughout these last 16 months I have not been physically capable of doing things I want to -- I have missed a school field trip I wanted to attend with my daughter, I have not been able to take my walks anymore, I have not been able to drive myself and my daughters long distances anymore, due to pain and fatigue. I am not able to domestically whirlwind through the house anymore, due to lack of energy and limping. For now, I have let go of journaling retreats. I can't even sleep normally anymore.
I had a thought today... What if every time I have to let something go, I pick up something new?
What if I install new dreams and new goals and new activities that I can do?
What if when I lose out on one child, I gain another? What if since I can't have more kids due to my health, I sponsor one due to the love I still have to give?
What I'm learning is that this is the art of letting go. This is how to retain joy when sorrow comes knocking. This is how to reinvent myself. This is how.
*like*
ReplyDeleteNicely said.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sweet Jenn, once again you have inspired me with your words of great wisdom and positive thinking. You've reminded me of something I read in a book recently about loss. The author said, "Life is an abandoning process." -Chip Dodd, Voices of the Heart
ReplyDeleteMy immediate reaction was to slam the book closed and get up and walk away from it. Had I not been in a coffee shop I might have actually thrown it!
Why would someone say that?! What a depressive, hurtful thought! But I couldn't get it out of my head for days.
I pondered, I prayed, I stayed with it and slowly, very slowly, I let go of my fear enough to see the beauty in statement.
Abandoning, letting go, giving up, all these things have such negative connotations but truthfully, like you said, when we let go of something, someone, we leave have an opportunity to invite something, someone else in.
From the day we are born we begin to walk towards eternity. For a follower of Christ, eternity starts now. This world and it's journey is just a waypoint on our walk home.
When you look at it that way, it makes the reality of abandonment have some purpose. We must grieve what we've lost - your blog has amazing insight into that grief - but then we walk forward choose to walk forward or stay in it.
Thank you for always walking. For inspiring so many with your journey! I've loved you for as long as I can remember, my girl! And now I love you, I admire you, and I walk with you on your amazing journey in this life. It is an honor.
Denise, thank you so much for your comment. I was thinking of the eternal aspect of loss just yesterday. It does change the outcome and offer hope in the meantime. It also seems an "eternity" away sometimes.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
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ReplyDeleteWhat a great concept! I've watched in admiration as I've seen you do that in your housekeeping over and over--letting go to make room for other things--but using that in life is less tangible and more difficult. But it could help. A lot.
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